After lots of persuasion, PM Modi finally consents to be interviewed by eminent journalist Karan Thapar. Both of them remember the episode post 2002 Gujarat carnage. They are back again face to face after a gap of 18 years! Lots of water has flown down the Ganga ever since. Modi is no more the CM of Gujarat but the PM of India and has grayed a lot. Thapar might have grayed a lot too but doesn’t look any different.
There are no pleasantries, no smiles. Though Corona has stopped hand-shakes, there’s no Namasthe too. The tension in the air is palpable, but time to get on with the business of interview. Modi is trying to look as normal as possible but the trademark piercing look of Thapar into the eyes of the interviewee, isn’t helping much.
(Delhi grapevine has it that the only person Modi is scared of is Karan Thapar the ‘fearless’ journalist who keeps his account books clean, pays his taxes on time, isn’t linked to any NGO receiving foreign funding and one who has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with either Naxalites or ‘Maoists’! Just what do a politician do with such an individual! The most he can be accused of is, of being an ‘urban naxal’ - but what kind of creature that is, is not clear as yet, though freely used to describe those who disagree with the Govt on issues! In short there’s no way this guy can be not feared - and ignored and that’s exactly why Modi is sitting here today. Interview begins:
Karan Thapar: Good morning Mr. Nerendra Damodardas Modi.
Narendra Modi: Good morning.
KT: (Narrowing his eyes in usual style and looks piercingly deep into Mod’s eyes) Can I take it that you agreed for this interview on your own free will and not due to compulsion from any quarters whatsoever?
NM: No.
KT: Ok let’s begin from the beginning. You said ‘Acche din’ are going to come. Has it come?
NM: Certainly.
KT: What makes you think so?
NM: Ask any BJP man.
KT: What about Rs. 15 lakhs in everyone’s bank account?
NM: I have already put. It was a printing error by the Press. It was actually Rs.1500/-, already deposited in bank accounts of people who have bank accounts. Others need to open to get it.
KT: Ok, People say you are communalist- you side with only one community.
NM: Not true
KT: How could you say that?
NM: Because I have never been a Communist all my life and will never be one. So, question of siding with any community doesn’t arise.
KT: (Stumped, widens his eyes. Never expected such calm, clear replies to his direct, on the face question. Becomes alert and straightens up, not ready to give in that easily) Hmm..People say your diplomacy is a total failure. All neighbours including China and Nepal have become our enemies. Nepal is even claiming our area Kala Pani in Uttarakhand.
NM: You are wrong. Nobody has claimed Kala Pani. First of all Kala Pani is not in Uttarakhand. It is in Bay of Bengal - also known as Andaman and Nicobar Islands. You need to brush up on your geography.
KT: (Flummoxed) What about China claiming Galwan Valley?
NM: Claiming is one thing. I said then and am saying now- they have not entered Galwan. In place of our 20 body bags we have dispatched 200 to them.
KT: But where is the proof?
NM: What proof you have, that we haven’t? You prove it.
KT: (Realizing PM Modi is not the old CM Modi, he realizes his formidable reputation is at stake! Readies to go for the kill now) OK. They say you have utterly failed to control Corona and the Indian economy is on the verge of collapse due to your government’s inefficiency and mismanagement. What have you to say about it? (Thapar’s beaming face turns pale when he sees what he always feared)
NM: (His eyes turning red in anger gets up from his seat, pulls out the ear plug signaling the interview is over)
KT: (Realizing a rerun of the 2002 interview fiasco is on the anvil, jumps up and tries to pacify Modi and requests him to continue with the interview) Ok OK Mr. Modi, I will reframe my question. How far do you think you were successful in controlling the Corona pandemic in the country and how much do you think you have contributed to the economic growth of the nation?
NM: (Relaxed, puts the earphones back and sits down). We have controlled the pandemic through timely lockdowns. Trumpbhai himself congratulated me for that. As far as economy is concerned, I have revived it through Rs. 20 lakh crores funds infusion. Now no one is complaining. Just listen to the media: India Today, TimesNow, IndiaTV, SudarshanTV…entire Indian media except few antinational ones! To confirm, ask Arnab…
KT: Ok, what about China?
NM: You know why they came to the negotiating table? Both the Rafale fighters we got, Rajnath deployed them straight away in Ladakh facing in the direction of the Chinese in Galwan. That did the job. When the entire fleet of Rafales arrives, we can just forget about China.
KT : But how did you give the orders worth Rs. 30,000 crores to Anil Ambani who doesn’t have a track record of defense production, to manufacture Rafales in India. Anil is also bankrupt to boot! He recently told a London Court he borrows money from Tina even for his hair cut!
NM: ( Reaches for the earphones and attempts to get up).
KT: ( Tries to pacify him promising to reframe the question).
NM: (Puts the earphone back, sits down, awaits next ‘friendly’ question)
KT: Why the impudent Rahul Gandhi…(Modi’s face lights up and lies back on the sofa relaxed)…keeps repeating that you let the migrants suffer, let the GDP fall below -24%, want to sell profitable Public Undertakings, mismanaged economy, people are jobless, poor suffering - even facing starvation…..
NM: (Removes earphones, gets up and walks away).
KT:( Runs after Modi pleading) No, no Mr. Modi don’t go away. I will reframe all questions, I promise. Next are all friendly questions on Magnificent Ram Temple, Hi-tech new Parliament Building, Bullet Train…. I promise there will be no questions on Hathras, rising atrocities on Dalits, women and children, lawless UP etc. Please come back… (When Modi keeps walking away, shouts after him) We can discuss your favourite mangoes, which category you like more – Alphonso?...
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OVERHEARD
Recently, after an ex. Naval Officer was attacked by Shivsena goons over forwarding in a WhatsApp group a cartoon critical of Uddhav Thackarey. Uddhav’s dad late Bal Thackarey incidentally was a cartoonist!
Late RK Laxman the eminent cartoonist confronted Bal Thackarey on a parole day up above.
RKL: I wonder Bal, how could your son use his goons to attack a retired soldier – that too over a cartoon of all things! How could he do such a thing despite being a cartoonist’s son! Disgusting! Has he forgotten he is the state’s CM – not merely the Boss of your goonda-turned political party ?
Bal Thackarey: What to do RK! He was never a worthy son you know. Instead of controlling Shiv sena, he wanted to study in the US – I still don’t know what! Instead of shooting the opponents, he preferred shooting pictures on his SLR Camera. He broke the tradition of Thackareys not joining ministry, by not only becoming CM himslf but also by making my party loving innocent grandson a cabinet minister! I am not sure if he was in the Disha Salien party by any chance. I am restless RK – till the CBI probe gets over.
RKL: Too late Bal. Just relax. Today we could meet being your yearly one-day parole here. Do complete your term in the Purgatory and when you finally, if ever, reach here in Heaven, we will together teach Uddhav how to enjoy a good cartoon even on oneself and have a hearty laugh – a quality Indian politicians are lacking badly today!
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From "THE ARCHIVES"
