The Opposition is in disarray. Rahul Gandhi is either not interested at all to revive Congress or is simply incapable/incompetent to do the job! There’s simply no single leader among the Opposition parties who can match the charisma and mass appeal of Narendra Modi. That’s the biggest handicap for the Opposition and the greatest advantage Modi enjoys today! Despite the hit he has taken post Covid, nationally and internationally due to the vaccine fiasco during the second wave (which hit him harder than the ‘Bengal Punch’ administered by Mamata Banerjee), his position is safe because of the Opposition’s failure to throw a matching challenger at him!
The recent heavy thrashing he got in Bengal at the hands of Mamata, despite it’s obvious ferocity, has somehow been underplayed by everyone including, for some strange reason, Mamata herself, to occupy the vacant position of Modi challenger, which in effect means future PM – should BJP lose in 2024! ( Perhaps she is aware of too many aspirants hiding in the bushes, to pounce on, at the appropriate time!)
Perhaps the thought of her traversing the globe as India’s PM in a blue bordered white cotton sari, with a heavily plastered leg, rubbing elbows (shoulders are going to be too high!) with the Bidens, Putins, Johnsons and Jinpings of the world, may be too much even for the thought to occur to our Opposition space! But then who else? This scenario is worrying one man, more than anyone else, in the country, as per close confidents!
Veteran Sharad Pawarji has been spending sleepless nights over this political vacuum
of a worthy challenger to Modi, which makes his chair safe even in the face of utter mismanagement! Where else could a PM go to bed to sleep peacefully at night when crematoriums are filled to capacity due to oxygen shortage, leading to holy rivers overflowing with bodies, shortage of ventilators, ICU beds etc etc not to speak of the daily oil price hikes adding to inflation and the knock economy is taking to make people’s lives even worse - income/ job losses notwithstanding! In any other country this would have meant the end of regime – but not in India – due only to the TINA factor! (TINA = There Is No Alternative)
But how long can this continue? Is a country of 130 crores people incapable of throwing up a matching challenger to Modi? Pawar simply couldn’t digest it! He kept twisting and turning in his bed. “Eureka!” Shouts Pawar and jumps out of his bed in the middle of night and picks up his smart phone. Next morning, he is sitting at his breakfast table with Prashant Kishor the famous poll strategist whose latest credentials are TN’s MK Stalin and our own Bengal Didi!
Age is not a factor when ambitions ride high. And, as you know, Indian politicians never retire – they only die! So, Pawarji cannot be faulted for seeing himself in the vacant space of challenger to Modi! Why not? Being octogenarian is no disqualification for a PM – if you look back in history, you’ll know. Creating a hotch-potch coalition of most unlikely allies with divergent ideologies, with the sole aim of capturing power and hanging on for over one year is no mean feat!
They decide to shortlist the possible challengers to the throne within the Opposition, with the aim of elimination by deductive logic, a la Dr. Watson! The final shortlist has the following names: Rahul Gandhi, Mayawati, Akhilesh Yadav, MK Stalin and finally Mamata Banerjee. Naveen Patnaik could do a Deve Gowda if Lalu Yadav comes out of jail. Since that doesn’t seem likely in the near future, the short list ended with just 6 names including his own.
Before the elimination starts, the duo is joined by a die-hard Pawar supporter Sanjay Raut, the de facto editor of Saamna, the Sena mouthpiece. (He is supporting Pawar because he knows nobody will support Uddhav Thackaray as a PM candidate in his lifetime! So, he settles for another Maharashtrian – that’s all – nothing more, nothing less!)
The elimination begins.
First file is opened: RAHUL GANDHI
Pros:
-Gandhi Scion
-Can call Modi names and can get away with it because no one takes him seriously (including his own party) as he never has proof of his accusations! Modi wants him to lead Congress as he knows he is safe as long as Rahul is there!
Cons:
- Crass incompetent.
- The speed with which Cong party is disintegrating after he was made the Party president and his refusal to revive the party, is ample proof!
- A reluctant politician forced into it due to lineage than inclination!
- Seems keener on foreign beaches than Indian political leeches!
VERDICT: He poses no threat!
File Name: MAYAWATI
Pros:
- Dalit leader
- Rich. Personal worth (accounted): Over 1000 Cr. By selling hundreds of those life-sized elephant statues she made in marble (no one knows why!) few more crores can be added
to her combined wealth.
Cons:
- Overambitious with no particular justification for being so. Only ambition left: to die as an ex: PM of India!
- On Modi’s table is a full dozier of her ill-gotten wealth, the main reason for her total silence against Modi and BJP. If Pawar could lay his hands on that dozier, her name could be deleted permanently from the shortlist.
VERDICT: Small threat-not serious!
File Name: AKHILESH YADAV
Pros:
- Mulayam Singh’s son
Cons:
- Mulayam’s rumoured to be Jet Airways’ real owner. If true, Dad and son’s unusual silence could be attributed to another file on Modi’s table! Best option: Access this file too. Though Dad-son appears at loggerheads, this file could be a reason for the duo’s joint-silence against Modi/BJP!
VERDICT: No Threat!
File Name: MK STALIN
Pros:
- Wily Karunanidhi’s son
- Has a clean image.
Cons:
- A potential dark horse
- Can’t speak in any other language than Tamil. Will not speak even if he can.
- No pan India appeal.
- May withdraw candidature if told that a PM has to speak compulsorily in Hindi.
VERDICT: No threat at all!
File Name: MAMATA BANERJEE
Pros:
- Clean. Popular. Pro-poor. Powerful. Dedicated to people’s welfare.
- Non-corrupt. No personal agenda. Hard worker. Power of conviction.
- Possesses all qualities required to make a popular PM.
At this stage Pawar looks disturbed. He says impatiently. “ Cons, where are the cons?”
Prashant Kishore scratches his head : “Hardly any sir!”
Pawar’s look turns hostile.
PKishor: No, wait, there are! She has no dress sense, no grooming. Typical middle class mindset even after being CM for ten years! Still owns a Maruti Zen of 1987 make! Hardly travelled abroad. Speaks poor English, Hindi. Even when she speaks in English or Hindi,
a translator is required to translate in English and Hindi respectively…
Pawar’s face lights up. Says gleefully: “That’s really bad. She can’t stand up to dignitaries on the world stage. That’s a big minus. No one will take her for a serious PM candidate. She will be forced to settle as my deputy at best. Left to me, she will replace Smriti Irani – either textile or women and Child Welfare…
Sanjay Raut claps. Pawar looks mighty pleased with himself. Prashant Kishor smiles and nods his head enigmatically. They decide to prepare an action plan to unite the Opposition under the leadership of Sharad Pawar who will be projected as challenger to Modi and future PM post 2024 general elections. All three retire for the night to their respective rooms.
Closing the door behind him, Prashant Kishore picks up his smartphone and dials: “You have almost three years to improve your English and Hindi. We have tutors who will make you speak both the languages like natives. Personal grooming professionals will join shortly.
As for the wardrobe and attires in general- especially during foreign tours to meet heads of state, the country’s best design houses have been roped in.
So be ready for taking over the responsibility post 2024 polls, Didi. During the Bengal assignment I was convinced you are the best bet to lead India to regain it’s lost glory in 2024 or even before, if there’s a possibility. Don’t worry about Sharad Pawar. Our men are on the job and soon you will have a dozier on your table with two sections in detail. One, the man behind rise and rise of Dawood Ibrahim. The other, Man behind the Big Builders of Mumbai. Should be more than enough!
By the by, doesn’t Sharadji know his old buddy Yashwant Sinha is now the VP of TMC! He sought Sinhaji’s help, of all people - a serious error of judgement, that rarely happens with the shrewd politician. But he forgets: Time’s not on his side!"
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PS: "Most of my cartoons are not mere cartoons, but socio-political comments. That's why they remain topical although slightly late in the day!
My next episode could be delayed due to a physical handicap troubling me of late: arthritis - inherited! It was lying dormant but reduced physical activity caused by continuous lockdowns has taken its toll. Though up to date ideas-wise, execution takes time due to the enhanced physical discomfort. Although I will do my best, delays may become inevitable in due course. Kindly bear with me. Thanks". Bye for now! Jai Hind! Here goes:
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