The following is a report on an important interaction that didn’t take place in
New Delhi recently.
The President of India’s reputation as an amiable sympathetic and approachable person is well known. He will do his best to redress people’s grievances whether rich or poor, Indian or foreigner. And when someone has a grievance in a democracy, he, she or it, can approach the highest authority in the country such as the Prime Minister or even the President of India. So, you cannot fault the Corona Virus when it chose the President of India to complain and seek redressal of its grievances! The request came through the Chinese Embassy, ie, through diplomatic route and grievance being grievance, whether from a human or a virus, the interview was granted as per the current Health Ministry protocol, only through teleconferencing. Corona Virus: Namaste, Ramnathji. Thank you for your willingness to hear me out and for acknowledging that even a virus could have grievances. Yours is truly democratic country. President of India: I cannot thank you for the compliment due to the havoc you are causing in our country. CV: Correction sir. I am not playing havoc in India. That I have reserved for Italy, Spain and other European countries who are members of NATO, and the villain America. Here in India and other fellow Asian countries I am in fact helping in so many ways – yet getting blamed badly for it. That’s my grievance. PI: Helping!...How? CV: I taught Indians personal hygiene and hugely contributed to the ‘Swatch Bharat Abhiyan’ of your Prime Minister, in quick time. Made highly polluted Delhi and other Indian cities breathable by removing all vehicles from the roads at one go. You could never ever do this without me. I can go on but before that I have a small request. There is a reason why I chose to meet you rather than the Prime Minister. I thought we could interact better because of something we have in common. PI: Something in common! What on earth! What can be common between a dangerous virus from China and a peaceful human from India…I pray? CV: Our names Mr. President. PI: Names! What is common between Corona and Ramnath? CV: By the by, your surname is Kovind, right? Can I call you Kovind from here on sir? PI: No issue. CV: Thanks. As you know, my official name is not Corona, but Kovid you know.
You may call me Kovid from now on sir. PI: Ok, ok. Get on with your grievances Kovid. Kovid : Thank you Kovind. Kovind: I have a meeting coming up. So you better hurry up Kovid. Kovid: I brought families together. Popularised online transactions including banking.Taught men the joy of helping with cooking and the kitchen .Taught the world the value of Namaste as a greeting. Demonstrated the benefits of social distancing, keeping the surroundings clean etc. Showed how to avoid extravagant spending such as in marriage, religious festivals and so on. Revived reading habits and showed the kids they can survive without junkfood. Taught a good lot of Indians how to work from home and do home cultivation of essential vegetables and fruits. Proved to the faithful no God’s wrath will befall them if they fail to go to temples, mosques, churches, Gurudwaras etc to pray and that it’s ok with God if they pray from their homes.Thus helped put a break to the growth of religious extremism with the potential to disturb your country’s peaceful existence. Also, by showing that I don’t differentiate between the rich and the poor, I made the rich shit in their pants out of fear, because they realised this one cares two hoots for the glitter of their wealth, in a way contributing to the socialist cause too. I showed the drunkards they can live without liquor, but don’t blame me if it’s the govt.’s revenue dept. that’s showing the withdrawal symptoms! I can go on and on sir. When so much good I have done, albeit some initial difficulties and some inevitable hardship for 21 days or thereabouts, I am being accused unfairly of being such a big villain ignoring the good things I have done for your country. Just over 100 people dead is nothing when your own statistics show that common flu and other diseases cause lakhs of deaths in your country. Kovind: (Thinks) Hmmm… Kovid: Tell Modiji to take it easy. India is not my target. Lift the lockdown gradually while continuing the good lessons learnt and your country will be better off soon. Look, I haven’t troubled most of the Asian countries. But I will not leave without teaching good lessons to the impudent West, who think they own the world – especially the US with that arrogant fat guy as president. (lowering voice) I have already made sure he will not get re elected. Kovind: Hmmm…Hmmm… Kovid: From Kovid to Kovind. Its my word sir. I have done my cleaning job, contributed honestly to Swatch Bharat, taught few good lessons to your people, and will soon go away – never intending to return. But tell everyone: Don’t do anything – to make me change my mind. Thank you for your time and for bearing with me for 21 days. Bye! End of the interaction, that never took place – but could have! Bye for now!
OVERHEARD: A daily wager sitting idle in a dinghy room with his family, with neither job nor money: ‘ Lock-up would have been better rather than lock-down. At least three times free food was assured!’ ********
loved the conversation between covid and kovind 😂... and yes ... go corona go ... can have two sides to it ... one to leave and other to bring abt discipline and self conduct in people of India and also to bring abt a cleaner environment to live in 👍
Eventually Covid 19 left the President of India speechless as always. It is still giving a good lesson to India about cleanliness, care for environment and self dependency. Much more is avaited in coming days
I liked it it was different perspective of looking at CoVid situation
This is such a fun and good reasd on COVID 19 where otherwise all you hear and read are bad news only. Keep coming in more ..!
loved the conversation!